“I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times”
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas if you’re celebrating!
How are you doing? The last month has been a whirlwind but it’s nice to be here. How have your holidays been?
Today’s blog post is all about the impact of a particular song and the relationship it has in my life. I hope that you enjoy it and/or something resonates with you. Peace & Blessings!
Read on for more…
I have found that life is often a series of events that repeat themselves as we move forward, and yet no matter where I roam, I end up reflecting on the defining moments that have hardened me. They mold me, rock me to sleep or terrorize my every moment, but I crave them. As conflicting as it can feel, I delight in the pieces that I carry inside and frequently look back in awe. Familiar faces unseen, once full of mystery. I pass them by but they remain and I become more aware of who I am, what I’m made of, and how it all came to be...
“I just wasn’t made for these times” by The Beach Boys, is by no means my favorite song of all time, however, it reminds me of the fragility of our existence, specifically the pain that many of us, including myself, must bear witness to and feel so immensely to be present in life. I woke up a few weeks ago singing this bittersweet tune and took it as a sign from the universe that I must heed this call.
“I just wasn’t made for these times'' is a coming-of-age story that reflects on the wisdom, nostalgia, and unrest that defines our existence. The layers of an orchestral choir fused with the unmistakable harmonies of the melodic Beach Boys add to the twinge of reality when listening to this song. It reminds me that there are people and that there have been people who feel as I do. That the weight of the world was on their shoulders and they too managed to survive.
Similar to my waking up a week ago to the song playing in my head, this song has appeared at other pivotal points in my life as well. Thinking back to when I was 16 and first heard the song, I remember feeling very fragile and insignificant, yearning for people who understood me better than my friends did.
This song continues to appear at intervals of my life like a benchmark that I subconsciously check in with. Sometimes I’ll hear it in a passing car, a commercial, or it will simply pop up on a playlist. My understanding of what Brian Wilson is saying is becoming clearer at every turn. Just like a good friend, “I just wasn’t made for these times” serves as a reassuring presence that everything will work out as it should and that I’m still on the right path.
“I just wasn’t made for these times” was released on The Beach Boys' esteemed album, Pet Sounds on May 16, 1966. That was 55 years ago. Even though the Beach Boys were more prevalent during the sixties and seventies their sentiment still holds as true as ever. Our living in an era of social media emphasizes the impact of this song. There are just some friends and moments that we cannot sustain. We will know them to the core of who they are, and realize that we can’t go the distance with them. Which is fine because that’s just how life is, even if it hurts. I am reassured by this song because I am okay with being alone and I know what to look for in steadfast friendships as opposed to fair-weather friends. I am resolute in my path, even when I must walk alone.
When I hear this line of the song
“Every time I get the inspiration
To go change things around
No one wants to help me look for places
Where new things might be found…”
I feel more independent and wiser than ever before, but my heart also aches with the familiar pain of loneliness.
When I close my eyes I can see the moments where I had to choose between personal growth or complacency. My quest for independence truly started during my senior year of high school. I grew tired of the constant familial abuse dolled out almost daily, and there was one occasion where I legitimately woke up seeing the proverbial “stars” from hardbound books being thrown at (and landing on) my head. My face throbbed and my eyes welled with tears. I left home that day and would not return without one of my best friends, a box of extra-large garbage bags, and her mom as a chaperone.
I fled from that sadistic environment with all of my scars and didn’t look back for a long time. Life became easier as I moved further and further away from home but the psychological wounds would eventually fester and I had to make a choice; live in denial of all that plagues myself and my family or work steadily to be who I am meant to be as an individual. It hasn’t been an easy path. It’s been fraught with unrequited friendships, cups of ramen for dinner, and a self unworthiness that I still struggle with today, but when I listen to this song, the culmination of all of these unfathomable moments is quelled by the symphonious trance of the Beach Boys.
I attentively listen and know that there won’t be a hero to save me and that I will have to continue doing it myself which is no longer scary but soothing. I’m not some adolescent anxious to find like-minded people. I am an established woman who has this song to help balance the material world and make it possible to find peace, even if it’s just for the running time of the track.
I have a distinct feeling that in the future, this song will more than likely continue to remind me of the past and how I have grown into the person I am meant to be. I don’t often go looking for this song, rather it finds me at the moments I need it most, and I hope it continues to do so.
